By Any Means
Original oil painting on canvas.
For me, this year has been full of emotional chaos. For a while now, I’ve felt like I'm on the edge of insanity.
I didn’t know how to talk about this series or why/how I started it. Maybe it came form a memory of riding the bus as a child and seeing a doodle on another kid’s notebook. Also, I don’t know why I can’t stop making these paintings. I've started to refer to this style as my language as an artist/painter and I’m working really hard make sense of it as a form of communication.
I would consider this painting to be an expressionist representation of what this year is has done to me mentally and emotionally. I don't want to accept the things that don’t make sense right now but if I refuse those things, it could be impossible to move forward. Or even begin to understand the present moment. I don’t get it but I’m trying to and these paintings are examples of me working to process the ridiculousness of now.
This painting is me working through things in the best most useful way I know how to. And it’s going somewhere. It may take an entire revolution but "By Any Means" we are going to get there. Until then, I must continue to process the madness. Keep kneading the dough. Until I get to a point of understanding, or I at least feel at peace with reality. Who knows when that will happen.